Category Archives: Ordinary Day
I wish to work under old growth hemlocks in nature with my camera, recording the health of woods and waters.
I wish to work on community, local food issues, and help people find better health.
I want to work on connections and increase my commitment.
I want to transcend past fear and worry of inadequacy.
I wish to create a job that fits my lifestyle, rather than having to fit my life to my job.
You too can be a Wishcaster by joining others at Jamie Ridler’s website!
Today I stepped on the scale and weighed in just ounces under 160 pounds. I’ve watched my weight gain with a frown but found it difficult to garner the willpower to fight the numbers.
I lost 60 pounds and kept it off in the face of illness and stress for over two years. But as hip and knee challenges slowed my fitness and I went from running to walking, I misplaced my enthusiasm and my discretion in making choices that benefitted my health. Fatigue set in, and inflammation. I found myself questioning the spiral and amazed at the psyche that was craving M&M’s (that are cursedly gluten free) when my mind once craved a healthy smoothie with spinach.
In 2004 I graduated from massage school and I weighed 204 pounds. My lowest weight was just prior to my diagnosis with Celiac Disease where I had my lowest weight of 141. I understand that Celiac had my body struggling for nourishment, and part of my weight loss was spurred by the disease, but I was journaling my food intake and using measuring cups for portion control. I logged on to SparkPeople.com every day and I tracked the calories I burned in each workout. I ran 3-4 times a week.
Now, I’ve become almost sedentary. I work in a group home where there is a lot of stress. And where I am physical on my job, I find it difficult to get off my butt when I am home. I am struggling. Yet I have the knowledge of past success and how to get that weight coming off once more.
What has stopped me? I am fearful of pain. I have no health insurance. I want to run, but know I need to start at a walk. Yet when I head out to the gym, or trail my body wants that rush of running down the trail.
That number 160—it is unacceptable! I will not continue on this path. I will lose the weight. Today I had a smoothie and a salad. It is a start.
The month of December was the most challenging month of 2012 for me and my families. After wok on December 30th I took to the deep woods for renewal and although the light was low I captured this image of reflection on the Dead River in Marquette, Michigan. I tromped thru the snow and reconnected to my soul.
Events have caused some energy leaks in my spiritual sheath, often referred to as our aura. At the end of the work-day (at what I refer to as my day-job), I’m not happy with the person I was during that 8 or 12 hour shift. It has brought me to my knees in tears. I keep bargaining with myself that I can do this, and over and over again I find bitterness poisoning the positive and healing I strive to be.
In reflection, I know where I’ve been and where I long to be so I am looking around the bend in the river. My theme word for 2013 is Transcend.
Along with the 12 wishes listed below I also wish for new inspiration with my blogging.
1. I wish for divine guidance and clear direction on a new path/career.
2. I wish to release the worry and fear that has caused panic attacks this year.
3. I wish to rededicate to my weight loss and fitness goals.
4. I wish for medical insurance and greater healing in 2013 (and beyond) without amassing debt.
5. I wish to afford my alternative health care treatments, massage, healing touch, chiropractic and other modalities.
6. I wish to attend trainings that further my career and lifestyle goals.
7. I wish to travel more often.
8. I wish for new direction in my photography and the opportunity to go on photo shoots more often.
9. I wish for more time outdoors in nature.
10. I wish to increase my earnings in 2013 (and beyond).
11. I wish to pay down debt and increase my savings.
12. I wish for a new car that can take me on photo-adventures safely and efficiently.
You too can join others in Wishcasting on Wednesdays at Jamie Ridler’s website.
I like changing the cover photo on my Facebook page, often. Lately, this has taken the direction of adding text to images taken that day. I will be out with my camera and start framing an image in my mind. In framing the image prior to capture I remember that my profile photo will take a portion of the left hand side of the cover photo. I adjust for this almost automatically, now.
I wish to create healing. Once I went to massage school and started my business, but and injury and inflammation had me closing my practice, too quickly.
I wish to create healing. Once I bought a pair of sheets, emptied out a bedroom and placed items in a healing room where I would practice my skills as a massage therapy student. I had no idea how to pay for school. I had FAITH! The way was found.
I wish to receive healing. Once a bird feeder was hung in the backyard. I tended a flower bed, weeded, mulched, and was surprised by sunflower plants. The birds had scattered seed. I get to enjoy the unexpected beauty. This helps me renew my faith in the unexpected.
Healing means, less fatigue and inflammation. It means finding a direction/path that allows me to help others find their way to health. Through massage, food, fitness, Reiki, or other another direction I’ve yet to imagine. Healing means abundance will return and I will have the means to make the changes I desire and am guided to. Healing means running my own business and sustaining my health and happiness.
Steps I took today toward health, today: Chiropractic appointment, restocked my coconut oil and apple cider vinegar, created art, took things to an outdoor outfitter for them to be resold (de-clutter), and rested.
What do you wish to create? Come cast your wishes with us at Jamie Ridler Studios.
Goal: to write more often no matter how trivial the words are—monkey mind that we experience in meditation, that is often what a freewrite will feel like. But I am giving myself permission to let things surface.
Today I spent time renewing my spirit and refreshing my living spaces. I got another garden plant in the ground and weathered the extremes that the first day of summer threw at us here in Marquette Michigan. As I begin to type, I hear the rains come. The temperature has dropped 30 degrees.
The news of the day has been of Duluth with heavy floods and zoo animals washed from their pens, two seals and a polar bear lose (now recovered).
The back of my mind is full of the endless questions of how to better my life. Make more money. Wondering where to concentrate my efforts and talents? And wondering if I have to start all over again, run away. Take on a new identity.
Extremes of the day, or week. The ups and downs.
I’ve decided to take part in a 30-days to Clarity e-course guided by Deb Smouse to help me create space in my life. I’ve taken on the bedroom and the refrigerator. One box, one bag, and an assortment of footwear made it to Vinnies today.
My water bottle is missing. Maybe it is at work or in Mike’s vehicle.
I iced coffee today in the freezer.
I turned off the TV; it was noise.
Processing the death of a friend. The criticism of a family member. And remembering the dragon-heart and how it longs for love and peace, friendship and hope.
Making Michigan Magic with Kim Nixon
April 1, 2012
In my own backyard
Apple Tree Budding
Today is cool and misty, fog blows in off the big lake. I am coping with back pain and must make do with a couple of shots of the backyard. I hope that spring will not pass me by.
Making Michigan Magic with Kim Nixon
April 1, 2012
In my own backyard
The trees are getting soft with young leaves. My life feels misty and out of focus. I try to look at what’s unfolding with a soft gaze, not judging, but letting it blends with my psyche. I try to exhale.
A New Year, A New Camera
(…an ever evolving Kim)
The Power of Intentions is a magical opportunity to change and manifest that which you need. I set a small advertisement on a bulletin board and told everyone that by the end of the 2011 I would have a Big Girl Camera, a Canon T3i. I stated that with this camera I would be able to change the way I make a living and quit turning down prospective clients. The camera manifested with help from my Fiance’ and my Father.
How fun is it that I now get to learn this camera! So much of the New Year will circle around camera outings.
I’ve always believed in setting intentions or evolutions for the each year. I have a whole year in which to create a better me, to evolve, and become a better Kim.
I have some big goals and some smaller goals here is a list–
- Host a monthly family dinner.
- Meatless Mondays.
- Run 12 races.
- Drop 12-20 pounds and lower my BMI
- Edit the Long Haul Series and seek publication as a chapbook.
- Explore gluten-free baking.
- Run the Grand Island 1/2 marathon.
As the sun rose this morning I had a strong longing to take a walk. To head out of my home with no plan and no known destination. Instead, a panic set in about the day’s obligations and responsibilities. So, I turn my thinking and dreaming toward an upcoming four-day mini-vacation with a brand new destination on the Northern Shore of Lake Superior. The plan is to open to beauty and adventure.
I’m thinking on how to build the lifestyle I want.