Monthly Archives: October 2009
It is October 31st and Halloween is often the closest I get to pausing. I even slept 10 hours last night. Instead of running down trails, I cleaned the studio. I am moving into hibernation mode. Preparing for NaNoWriMO. Cleaning the studio. Gathering acorns…or art supplies.
But really the one thing on my mind that took priority over all, was seeing this little Grand Baby Boy on Halloween! This is Liam my two-year-old Grandson. I do not see him enough. I am not the grandmother I planned to be. But I am determined to be more involved. To know more of his world.
My mind is quiet when I am with Liam. I focus only on him. Oh and a bit on my daughter–Ceiri’s interactions with Liam are amazing. She is a wonderful Mommie!
When I visit I feel so blessed and I am in awe and wonder. Even listening to Liam blow full force into a recorder playing only high notes! Even a Liam who is stuck on the word–NO. I am in a gentle time of life where I can let things be, observe and learn just by watching.
When I was a young mommie I had three toddlers under four years of age. I was in constant motion. I was young, impatient. And life seemd hard. I was not the mommie I wanted to be.
I can do better, now.
As Grandma Kim.
It was December 3rd, 2008 when I came across a flock of pigeons hanging out on the electrical wires and fire-escape behind a brick building in downtown Marquette. The phrase I will not be a fat pigeon in winter popped into my head. I did not know then why I detested those poor cold pigeons who were huddling together for warmth and puffing up their feathers.
I was tired of hating winter, and wanting to be active. But being active meant squeezing into clothing that did not fit, trying to bend over my fat belly to lace up boots, and it meant getting assistance to clip-into snowshoes or skies. It was humiliating. I rather stay in and stick close to warmth and my food source. I did not even want to grocery shop when it was cold outside.
Funny thing is I considered myself active. I also made lots of excuses for my weight blaming a slow metabolism. heavy weight-gain during pregnancies 2 decade prior, but certainly I was active.
Slanted and skewed beliefs. I wanted and active life–but I needed to build one.
Last year the week before Thanksgiving i started watching my food intake a lot closer. I was picking up speed after those pigeons. Then I joined the YMCA in late January. I had already down-sized from an 1x jacket to a Large by my birthday on the 18th of January 2009. I celebrated by going snow-tubing and snow-shoeing.
Today I am writing an article for Health and Happiness Magazine, a local Marquette publication. The piece is called “I Lost 45 @ 45!” I went and re-visited the pigeons last week. I am pleased that I do not need help to put on boots, or snowshoes and that I am quickly fading out of a size medium winter coat. I have almost lost 50 pounds now. And today my trail-run was a 10K!
Those pigeons were sure an odd inspiration to change. And the phrase became a mantra over the past year. To hear more on this topic visit the Holistic Health Fair at Upfront & Company November 7th, 2009.
Each of these photos are available in a very unique 5×15 size–email for details on purchasing price.
Hi all! I love the reds in this photo and I am in need of color, today.
Are you up to it?
And what are you gearing up for?
It is mid-week and I am feeling unorganized. The flu has 3 schools closed. I have been fighting it off for days. But I did get several photos processed and uploaded to Flickr yesterday. Regardless, I need a dose of Red today!
The day was washed out and our cameras wet, fogged, and spotted by drops, it was hard to keep dry. And I’ve dragged my feet editing the trip due to the challenges. Then I played in B/W with images to bring out a washed effect. Here is Mike with rain pouring off the umbrella and camera tucked under his coat.
Photo Credit: Mike Hainstock
Kim at Tree Near Presque Isle River, Porcupine Mountains 2007
Photo Credit: Mike Hainstock
Kim at Tree Near Presque Isle River, Porcupine Mountains 2009
Weight Loss: 47 pounds
Photo Credit: Mike Hainstock
Tai Chi Kim at Presque Isle River, Porcupine Mountains 2007
Photo Credit: Mike Hainstock
Tai Chi Kim at Presque Isle River, Porcupine Mountains 2009
Weight Loss: 47 pounds
I will not be a fat pigeon in winter! I exclaimed on December 3rd, 2008. I had already been dieting since the week before Thanksgiving. But that image of fat pigeons puffing up their feathers sticking close to their food source made me think of how uncomfortable I felt when bending over my own belly to put on my boots. How much easier winter would be if I stayed inside? But that mentality did not fit my future vision of myself.
I had dreams of traveling in foreign countries taking photos and writing inspirational articles, filled with hope. My bucket list had the dream of kayaking with whales in the Pacific Northwest. I now had a grandson to chase. The echoes of winter is as good (or fun) as your gear haunted me. Yeah right! But I cannot even hook my feet up to my snowshoes without Mike’s help. Humiliated. I hated that.I vowed to see my feet again with ease no matter how many layers of clothing were needed to ward off the cold.
I Lost 45 @ 45! In fact I have now lost 46 pounds. And I think it might be possible by December 3rd to lose 50. The weight comes off slow now as I am building muscle mass and definition. I have gone from a tight fitting size 18 to a comfortable size 10. I’m still shrinking.
Weight loss and fitness is expensive. I have shrank thru wardrobes of clothes and every couple of months I have bagged up the cast-offs for Vinnes and Goodwill. All my gear, including backpacks, no longer fit. I have shelled out money just to run 5k races; something I can do around Presque Isle on my own everyday. But I vowed not to be a fat pigeon in winter.
Lots of people ask, “How’d you do it?”
The next phrase no mater what my reply is, “I can’t do that ____________ (fill in the blank with reason).”
I am not an athletic trainer. I am not a dietician or nutritionist. I am simply one motivated woman who was sick of not living fully. I, too had the same excuses.
- I just have a slow metabolism…
- I don’t have the time…
- I dont’ have the money…
- I have other people to cook for…
- I have an injury…
I had to face all my excuses and find a way around them. I had old injuries, and new injuries. Yet, somehow this time around. Nothing de-railed my efforts. At the Holistic Health Fair I will talk about making change happen, making goals a reality, and how my journey got me to a size 9/10. I am calling the talk “I Lost 45 @ 45!”
The Fall 2009 Holistic Health Fair will be held Nov 7th 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at UpFront & Co. in Marquette Michigan.
My promise as I head into the weekend is to remember my goals not matter how unattainable they might seem. The photo above is from a building awaiting renovation in Wakefield. You can visit the photo set at my flickr account. This project looks to have stalled.
I have been aware that the end of the year is coming and some of my projects are unfinished, some are not yet in motion. But the one that I have had the most success with is losing weight. My Bucket List had a goal to lose 30 pounds and keep it off. I am now at 46 pounds down.
I will be kind to myself this weekend. Rest. Eat well. Do my PT exercises and drink water. I am approaching the end of my 21-day Promise to take ownership of my day in the mornings. I feel more centered and balanced and like I run my life.
17/21 Friday–Attended my physical therapy appointment, round up some errands and headed to my daughter’s for a Mother-Daughter Day. Taking ownership of my day lasted from the time I woke until 4:30p.m. Ceiri and I had a lovely lunch at Rubiyat.
18/21 Saturday–After a 16-hour over-night shift, ending at 9 a.m. I headed to the Heritage Trail head at Jackson Mine and ran for 44 minutes. Crisp morning with heavy frost and the most beautiful fall colors I’ve seen yet this year. After my run it was on to the farmer’s Market in Marquette: swiss chard, dill, red potatoes, pumpkin, broccoli from Seeds & Spores. Cortland apples, tomatoes, organic horn peppers from Farmer Q’s.
Thoughts on Wednesday Night
As I run thru the forest I comment that I am not my injury anymore, and I explain to Olivia who is running with me what meaning I put behind those words.
I used to be all about my wounds. But after loosing 45+ pounds and becoming a runner I am not about my injury. That victim-sense has lifted. Small successes have built upon each other and my foundation feels strong.
Yet, in the same thought I can admit that my arm/neck/shoulder have a disability that challenges my activities. I can accept those limitations and realize that for nearly 7 years I’ve coped, changed, and adapted. I can learn modalities and address the pain and discomfort. And you know what, I can still get upset at a migraine or spasm without it crushing me.
And I did, let that injury crush me. I was afraid. The physical pain coming so soon after a divorce, the worst emotional pain of my life was too much and it brought me to ruin.
But I am finding myself in the midst of challenge(s) and being in a safe relationship allows me to rediscover.
This photo can be viewed Large.
Sometimes the best of plans go awry. And my 21-day Promise did just that. I can blame it on vacation, the trying to catch-up after vacation–and I still have things to unpack–the busy life we all have. The macro above is ground foliage beside the Black River in Gogebic County, Michigan.
10/21 Friday, Day 1 of Vacation– I did not rush or freak ot when we departed alter than expected. I just moved slower and accepted the pace.
11/21 Saturday, Day 2 of Vacation–Thanks to pre-trip planning the lack of a microwave (promised with our room) was no big deal I ate a bowl of Quaker Oat Squares with almonds and Okios yogurt. The slow pace set from yesterday was good training for my feet as rain slowed us further on the trails of the Porcupine Mountains.
12/21 Sunday, Day 3 of Vacation–Sun still not out, Mike and I raise early and expectant and head to Lake of the Clouds with an inner glow. I accepted the spontaneity needed on the rainy trip and flowed as needed.
13/21 Monday, Day 4 of Vacation–It was a secret that we arrived home last night. I claimed this day as mine by not rushing back into my work week. Letting my muscles recover. Not hearing the phone ring off the hook.
14/21 Tuesday and Back-to-Work–I started the day knowing the weight I gained on the trip was temporary and packed a good healthy lunch and snack.
15/21 Wednesday–Started my day with physical therapy, difficult and deep neck adjustments that left me sore for two days. I still planned fitness for later in the day meeting with Olivia for coaching on my running. Ran the inner trails of Presque Isle.
16/21 Thursday–Realizing I could have called this Promise and List Carpe Diem–Seize the Day. But it seems too strong of wording. Today claiming the morning meant sleeping to 7:45 and waking to a beautiful sunrise.
Often descending 200 stairs down to the falls and platforms provided for safe viewing, an adventurous duo, Mike and I would hop the rails and step out onto the bedrock of two different rivers. This photo is on the Presque Isle River within the Porcupine Mountain State Park. Mike is a bit ore daring than I am and his shots of the falls from bottom up always seem more dramatic and lovely.
I made many mistakes while learning to take waterfall shots. I became too entranced with Time-Value and forgot to shoot in Program Mode. Now my mantra is don’t forget to “P” ’cause you might get too experimental and a little LCD screen will not show just how bad your shots truly are. It has created an excuse in my mind to re-visit these sites soon! Here is one of my good shots from Black River, this is the Gorge Falls.