Create with Kim!

It’s all very strange, each year I get a bit older. I end up working with women who were once in my Junior Girl Scout Troop or working along side students I have had in class. This January I will be forty-five years old. I am a mother of three wonderful adult children and grandmother to two.

I live my life very open and it sounds cliché but I tell everyone I am an open book, everyone knows my life. But, I am becoming more cognizant of the secrets I do have. There are simple statements of joy that I repress as they may cause others pain. So in the respect of those people I keep silent.

That silence reminds me of the days of abuse. My life prior to becoming an adult was a life of fear. I was a runaway to avoid my own home. I did not tell teachers, law enforcement, or counselors of that abuse until I was safely beyond the abuse. I dealt with the truths of my childhood years later after having children of my own.

So, yesterday, I was asked where a woman could turn to for help–No insurance–Not on welfare–But in need of counseling. I thought of the weekly headlines announcing cuts to mental health services in Marquette and Alger County and I knew that odds of finding services were very slim. I had to give some hope so I suggested the Women’s Center.

As my hands age, lines become deeper. As my hair grays, and wrinkles around my eyes fan out, they suggest wisdom. As I enter the next phase of my life, I am getting more outspoken of secrets. I don’t want to live contrary to my own cliché, “My life is an open book.”

This has been a year of taking photos, and in many ways photography is easier as my writing has always been a bit autobiographical whether poetry, fiction, or memoir. Even non-fiction articles have a strong “I voice.” The words that would rise to the surface felt like words I could not say, write, or share. I avoided my writing. I picked up a camera.

In the coming year I will write more. It is not that I regret picking up a camera-I love digital photography and I will be pursuing that strongly, too. But it is time to return to the page.