Create with Kim!

It is true, I panicked myself into another job where I sit for long hours in front of a computer screen with little movement and no fresh air. The air conditioner chills my muscles and bones. I wear restrictive business clothing. I cannot use essential oils. I cannot eat aromatic food to fuel my chi.

The position is in a testing center and we pride ourselves on providing a distraction free environment. The silence of the job allows for much reflection. That is a wonderful benefit and one I am grateful for…BUT.

I used to be a massage therapist. I used to work as a produce worker in a local food cooperative. I used to do tai chi, daily. Where has my yoga practice gone? I need movement in my life. So after doing some freelance work on Thursday, I headed to Wetmore Landing driving up County Road 550. I did not take my camera. What I needed was a hike, a swim, and to feel released.

Wetmore Landing has large granite rocks worn smooth. They look like sleeping giant dinosaurs in the water and I love to swim among them. The waters of Lake Superior have warmed, some, and the feel of buoyancy helped me let go. After a long swim, I climbed up on one of the granite creatures to dry and stretch in the sun, do yoga and chant.

Chanting is a great way to let go of fear and panic. I chant the word Aum. I let the intonations come naturally, sometimes my voice goes low on the scale. Sometimes the notes are high in a soprano register. But yesterday my chants were low, way lower than you’d think my littler girl voice could go. I saw deep tones of red and orange behind my eyelids. When I would open my eyes the vast blue of the lake calmed me further. I chanted until my voice felt a natural close.

I think there is an extra benefit chanting near large bodies of water. The resonant connection to the Earth and all with in it is content, maternal, womb-like, like coming home in an embrace.

Fear, panic, worry, these are emotions are hard to talk about, and it is even harder to recognize the trigger or impetus that set us into panic mode. I am taking part in a DailyOm Course, Healing Emotional Wounds with author Deborah King. It is an 8-week course of exploration and the following quote is one I am meditating on:

“Many of us experience so much stress, anxiety, fear, and limited outcome in our lives because we are literally in a narrow frame of reference, a narrow consciousness where there is so much darkness we are simply not able to feel the light.”

“Limited outcome” (the emphasis is my own), that is what led me to the feeling of panic. When I stretch myself in so many directions I lose touch with who I am at the core I linit my outcome, and become misdirected. Abundance becomes hindered as I am restricted tense and disconnected to the flow of energy that fuels us all, if we let it.

How many of you chant? Let me know of your favorite location to chant. What do you notice in the natural world as opposed to chanting indoors?